Frustrating Night

As I sit here rocking my writhing baby who is pulling my hair, scratching my face, and screaming at me, it once again occurs to me that I need to breathe. 

Breathe in, breathe out. Okay, that's a little better. I am always on a time crunch these days. We have to get out the door, I need you to get to bed at a decent hour, we have to get home... On and on. 

So I take another breath. In and out. And I remember that if I can just calm down and stop being so stressed out, they will too. If I stop fighting them at every pass, maybe they won't push back so often. If I say yes more and no less, they will need to challenge my authority less. And stop yelling. 

So I take another deep breath and she falls asleep. I look at her face as she snuggles into my arms and kneads her blanket with her hands and my decision is made. I'm not in a rush. We can slow down, take breaths and stop yelling. 

And we can just enjoy each other. They can be kids. For as long as childhood lasts.

Dance Moms: Toddler Edition

These dance moms are no joke. I already told the tale of the mom who worried that her two year old was somehow behind because she wouldn't jump with two feet (because she just wanted to do the next thing).

This past weekend, there were multiple moms and dads scolding their kids for running around and not listening. The kids who were really defiant were reminded by the teacher what they were supposed to do. I just don't get these parents that are embarrassed by a toddler!

One incident that really shocked me was when one of the moms scolded her child, "Come on, C! You've been doing this for MONTHS!" This class is only 6 weeks long and once a week. That made me realize that these mothers enroll their daughters the day they turn two and send them to the same class for a full year until they can get into the Pre-Ballet 1 class. OF COURSE she doesn't want to do it... the kid is bored!

I kind of expect Gabby to not do the right thing and am impressed when she semi-behaves. This must be why my parents never enrolled me in dance. It's a land of crazy. I don't belong here. 

Serenity now!

Daycare: Getting Us By For Just A Mere One Billion Dollars

Nope. Not sleepy at all.

Next month, it'll have been 2 years since we have been living the two-working-parents life. With no family nearby, we had to make the extremely difficult decision to send our precious baby to full-time daycare. It is not easy to go from being with a baby 24/7 to only seeing her 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours before she goes to bed. That was a rough transition.

However... Remember that time I wrote about how I am a Type A person with no ability to stick to a routine? Without daycare, I never would have gotten Gabby on any kind of schedule. What I learned with Gabby was to let the daycare teachers set her schedule and then just stick to it at home. I had a much easier time with Lilly. Also, those ladies know how to guide an infant toward toddlerhood. I have gone to them time and time again to ask for advice on how to get my kids to sleep (because even when they are giving me a hard time napping at home, they just go to sleep like little angels at daycare), how to get them to eat, what is developmentally normal, etc. It's like asking a pediatrician, but I don't have to make an appointment because I am there every single day.

Then there are the transitions. Daycare teachers who stick around are doing it because they love what they do. The pay is awful, benefits are minimal, and the work is exhausting. Most daycare teachers are waiting for a "real" teaching job and are only there temporarily. I'm assuming this is not as big of a problem at the pre-school and pre-K levels, but with infants and toddlers, there has been a near-constant shuffle of caregivers for my kids. Lilly is on her third lead teacher in the infant room and Gabby is on her third in the toddler room (and she had two different teachers when she was in infants). That is a lot of transition for a kid who needs to feel security and comfort if she is to be away from her parents all day.

Then there is the bill. I do feel that the quality of care our kids receive is worth the money. It is just really difficult to me to "take home" negative dollars while my kids are in daycare. By the time Lilly is in Kindergarten, we will have paid more than I owe on my student loans. If I were to stay home with them for the next 4 years, I couldn't guarantee that I could find a job locally - especially with the awesome boss I have and state benefits. It is worth the money. It is worth the sanity. There aren't enough story times at the library to keep me from losing my mind from spending that much time away from adult topics of conversation.

Daycare. I love it. I hate it. I don't know what we would do without it.

Sleep Training... My White Whale

I was going to have my lovely husband write this post and then I realized that I would be doing you all a disservice by not admitting to the fact that at 2.5 years old, Gabby is still not a good sleeper. 

What would be more useful is the tale of how I screwed up her ability to sleep forever and what I have learned along the way. If it makes you feel better, Lillian is a fabulous sleeper, so if you screw up like I did, just try again with your second kid. The best thing about subsequent children is the ability to see you are not a failure of a parent, you just didn't know what you were doing as a new parent. 

Anywho... 

Because I was home with Gabby full-time for 7 months, I never put her on a schedule. I had no idea how, I tried a few times to just impose one out of nowhere and repeatedly failed. For a type A person, I am not good with routines. When I finally got a job after graduate school and Gabby started daycare, I begged them to help me get her on a schedule. At this point (I hate to admit), she napped sporadically and slept in our bed every night. She had never spent one night in her crib. BIG MISTAKE. 

Daycare got her on a good schedule but the pediatrician and my co-workers looked at me sideways when I said she still nursed all night at 9 months old. The doctor said there was no biological reason for her to nurse all night and since she was starting to crawl it was pretty unsafe to have her in our bed, so we did some reading on sleep training. 

We decided we would try a gentle approach where we would go in to soothe her at ever-elongating increments until she got over it. I lasted about two days before the hubs took over and I drowned out the sound by locking myself in the downstairs bathroom until she stopped. It took about 4 days and we were all good.

For a few months. Every few months ever since we have had to repeat the process. She does now sleep 12 hours at night but by 12 months, she was only napping sporadically and now she doesn't nap at all on non-daycare days (because she hates me). 

So what have I learned? I started letting Lillian sleep in her crib at night starting around 3 months old. Newborns sleep better on their stomachs (which is why they love to ball up on your chest), so I put her to sleep on her tummy and flipped her over onto her back after a little while. I learned Lilly's natural sleep schedule and then reinforced it. I learned to put her to bed when she was tired, which was for a long time 6pm. It was sad for me to come home from work and put her straight to bed, but we are now reaping the benefits. She is a great sleeper. 

The moral of the story? Do what works for you and your family. Everybody screws up. And if you screw up as bad as I did, you can always try again by having another kid!

Poop in the washing machine - Our Cloth Diaper Journey

Because I am so brutally honest and willing to disclose all of my experiences - good and bad - many of my friends who are about to become parents for the first time as me about two things: baby registries and cloth diapers. 

I still to this day couldn't create a baby registry for my life. All you need for a new baby is diapers, formula or boobs, clothes, and a place for it to sleep. Everything else you will buy out of desperation and necessity. All baby gear is subject to baby's approval, so why spend $150 on a swing the baby hates? But I digress...

What I DO know is what a cost-savings MIRACLE for our family cloth diapers have been. Cloth has come a long way since the cloth diapers of my childhood and they are so much easier to use. 

Pros of using cloth:

1. It's a one-time expense. You can stock up and never have to buy another diaper. 

2. I buy all-in-ones, all-in-twos, and pocket diapers. Each style has their own merits, but these are some of the more foolproof styles. 

3. It prepares you for potty-training very well. I don't get mad when Gabby pees her pants because I've been touching her pee for two and a half years. Worried about poop in the washer? You think your toddler isn't gonna "poop in the unnawears?" Think again!

4. They are so much better at containing newborn poop. I was super picky with both kids and had Pampers Swaddlers on hand for nighttime and travel. I never had more crazy diaper blowouts than with those expensive diapers. With cloth, I rarely see poop outside the diaper because the diapers are so fuzzy inside. It holds everything in. 

Cons:

1. It's a bigger investment at the start, but you can easily start with a small stash and grow it as needed. You don't need newborn diapers for very long and then I like to buy one size diapers so they last until potty training. 

2. You are going to have to touch poop. It's inevitable. But as I mentioned before, using disposable diapers is not going to keep your hands clean. Diaper blowouts are going to happen and you will get poop on your hands. 

3. I honestly can't think of more cons. 

Considering cloth? Want some tips? Want some free diapers to start your stash? Comment below and I will answer any and all questions!